You and me?
by Amahagane
Summary: I couldn't stop thinking that Zen and Jumin were subtly flirting with each other while fighting. Like you know, teasing is a sign of affection, right? Thus, I decided to go a little deeper and make those two the main attraction of my route ;-) Note: All sentences in italic are taken from the original chat conversations in the game and thus are a creation of Cheritz and not me.
1. Chapter 1

" _lololol Seriously, I never thought I'd be so glad to see Seven's hiya hey hey lololol,_ " Zen typed into the messenger. Jumin read the entry once, then twice and even a third time before he finally typed in a response: " _Hiya hey hey_."

Zen was confused. Did Jumin actually write that just now? "…," was the only possible answer to that.

" _Wow^^,_ " MC continued the chat conversation. She actually loved this gap moe side of Jumin a lot. She found it cute how he was trying to be nice to Zen while simultaneously trying to get his attention. For her it was pretty obvious that he liked him even though she had only known them for a couple of days and on top of that only via texts, chat conversations and phone calls. Still, she was certain that there was something going on between the two of them and she really hoped that at some point they would realize this as well.

" _I'm going crazy,_ " Zen answered because this was frankly the only thing he could think of at this moment. What was that supposed to mean? Was Jumin making fun of him or actually trying to be nice? "What is going on with that jerk?", Zen wondered to himself.

Jumin was confused. "Did he really not understand? It was meant to be nice…", he wondered and decided to ask, at least indirectly: " _You must be glad,_ " he typed in.

"Glad? GLAD? OK, he is just messing with me again. How could I even think for one second that he was just trying to be nice?", Zen shouted out loud while tearing his hair. " _You….. You're….. God seriously…_." Zen hit the send button. "Maybe I should emphasize my point with a distressed emoji. Done. Let's see what this robot jerk has to say next!"

Reading Zen's response provoked an awkward feeling inside of Jumin. On the one hand he found it funny because he really enjoyed teasing Zen but on the other he was also disillusioned or at least he thought that this feeling must have been disillusionment. Why could Zen just not recognize his efforts? And… why did Zen not seeing him trying to be nice make him feel so uncomfortable all of a sudden? And how was he supposed to respond now? What could he write so that Zen would not take it the wrong way again?

Zen stared at his phone wondering why Jumin was not answering. "Speechless now, huh?", he said to the phone as if Jumin could actually hear him. He started nervously tapping his right index finger on the phone.

"" _Zen, it is very hard to satisfy you_ " should do it," Jumin thought and hit the send button.

Zen winced when he heard the messenger sound. He read the message and his eyes widened at the sight of the words that formed Jumin's sentence. This time it was Zen who read the message not only once but three times in a row. He suddenly felt his heart racing and his face burning. His hands were shaking causing him to let is phone fall on the bed he was lying on at that moment. He screamed: "AAAAAARRRGH! What the hell!" He slapped his face screamed again and then grabbed the phone to agitatedly type in his response: " _Woah… Don't say things like that. You're seriously…,_ " and while he was sending his message he suddenly remembered a similar chat situation between him and Jumin. It was a discussion about cat hair and he had wondered how Jumin could possibly sleep on a bed covered in this disgusting c-hair. Jumin had teased him at that time by answering with " _Did you just imagine my bed_?" Zen was now all messed up. What was all that about, Jumin Han?

Jumin sighed when he read Zen's answer. "No matter what I do… it seems…," he said to himself suddenly feeling even heavier than before. "I didn't know that things like that could actually get one down so badly." Jumin stroke Elisabeth's head and sighed again: "Seems like you are the only one who understands me, hum?" He looked back at his phone and decided to cut this conversation by changing the subject. " _Anyways, Luciel seems to be stable, so I guess everyone else can focus on the party now._ "

Zen couldn't believe his eyes when he read that. "First he is just messing with me and then he seriously talks about the party again even if two members still are in terrible danger? What the fuck is wrong with that robot?", Zen wondered and sent an annoyed emoji as response. Jumin continued writing about the party as if nothing else mattered to him at this point.

MC had read all the messages Jumin and Zen had exchanged at least three times as well. Her heart even skipped a little when she read these sentences full of subtle attraction between the two of them. And she was sad that it again didn't work out for Jumin. Again he had not been able to really bond with Zen. She felt a strong sympathy for Jumin at this point and thus decided to now at least help him talk about the party in a way that even Zen would listen to it.

They continued writing about the party and that it would be great if people would suggest more potential guests. However, MC got really worried when she saw how the conversation continued especially when she read Jumin subtly dissing Zen for not having influential and powerful contacts that could be useful for the RFA. She really hoped that Zen would not get aggressive and angry over these comments again.

Jumin reread his message. "Maybe this was a bit harsh…" He shook his head. "No, it wasn't!" He really was mad at Zen for constantly calling him cold, ignorant and profit-related. Did Zen really think that way about him? Did he really believe that this whole messed up situation with V and Rika would not bother him? Two people were still in serious danger, his best friend seemed to have lied to him for so many years and he himself could not do anything but watch for the time being. His mind was a mess; a total chaos in which feelings like disappointment, sadness and fear tried to conquer each other. But he just couldn't let this get him down. He had to be steadfast and strong for all of them now. The anchor they could all grasp on; the voice of sense and logic while the others could barely hold their emotions at bay. He just had to. If he couldn't do anything for V, Saeyoung, Saeran and MC he could at least do anything to keep things stable here. Even if that meant that he had to hold the tears back. He typed an answer to Zen: " _You only care about your work and not the RFA?_ "

Little did Jumin know that this provoked something in Zen because like this he was holding up a mirror to him. Zen realized that Jumin had a point. They were still a group that worked for a good cause and even if things were tough, this group, which he considered his family, needed help in different ways and one of these ways was the party. Zen made a guest suggestion which made Jumin again make a sarcastic comment about how amazing Zen was. "Ok… I was too fast again… he simply is a jerk…," Zen thought to himself but decided to let his anger go: " _God... Never mind. I don't want to get mad because of you._ "

 ** _I don't want to get mad because of you._**

It was like Jumin's heart stopped for a second when he read this sentence. This small sentence implied so many negative feelings towards him: Anger, rage, disillusion… and above all and probably worst of all it felt like Zen was done with him, like he just made no difference to him anymore. He didn't know what to answer to this but there was no need to answer anyhow as Zen continued: " _But… You're going to have the party regardless of what happens to V or Seven?_ " Yes… Zen just didn't understand what Jumin was going through und thus Jumin decided to just leave without even trying to make Zen see what was really going on. There was just no use to it. He would not understand because Zen was just so driven by his emotions. Jumin decided to make his answer look witty by using a chat bubble that looked like cat. He just wanted to stay strong and don't crash in front of Zen and MC. "Just keep on believing whatever you want Zen…," he thought while typing his answer " _Of course. I remembered something to confirm just now. MC, see you later._ " Jumin sent the message which even he figured sounded like the dumbest excuse ever and left the chat room.

Zen was flabbergasted when he read Jumin's response. He ran away? What a coward! And he didn't even say goodbye to me only to MC? WTF Jumin? He was outrageous: " _!? He doesn't even say good bye to me now?!_ "

MC was sad. "Well… isn't it kind of obvious why he didn't do it Zen?", she thought to himself and answered that the party still had to happen if RFA wanted to continue, trying to make a point that she still was on Jumin's side.

Zen couldn't believe that MC seemed to be so kind towards Jumin especially considering her and Saeyoung's situation. " _That's true! But he should take it down a notch considering everything. Isn't he being selfish?_ " Zen hit the send button. "Why am I even talking about that jerk! Not worth it! So not worth it: " _Anyways… I should stop talking about that jerk. *Happy emoji_ *" And that was what he did.

Jumin stared at his phone. His hand was shaking. He thought about re-entering the chatroom but that would have uncovered him as a coward even more. Elisabeth rubbed her head against his leg and meowed softly as if she could really feel his troubles. But Jumin didn't even feel like petting her. He let his head sink and closed his eyes. "This is just disillusionment! Just disillusionment…," he thought to himself.

But if it was just disillusionment then why did it hurt so much?


	2. Chapter 2

„Why haven't I realized this earlier?", Jumin said softly while looking into Zen's dark red eyes. Zen himself also got lost in Jumin's cold gray eyes. Never had he felt this safe before than how he did now lying naked on the soft sheets that smelled so much like Jumin. It was as if he was drowning in Jumin's melting gaze and the warm feeling of his arms completely wrapped around him gently caressing his naked skin. Zen could feel the sensation of Jumin's warm and firm skin touching his own as if they were not two but one single body. A feeling he never had experienced before.

Jumin tightened his embrace causing Zen to softly moan a bit. He returned Jumin's embrace ever so tightly and stroke his back. „I can't stop thinking about you...," Jumin whispered into Zen's ear. „ I want you!" Jumin started to slowly run his fingers through Zen's long and smooth hair while simultaneously caressing his spine. Zen tightened the embrace even more causing his fingernails to get buried in Jumin's back. Jumin hissed excitedly. With his left hand he lifted up Zen's head and then started to gently kiss and bite his lover's neck. Zen moaned even louder now. „I love you, Hyun," Jumin whispered causing Zen to shed warm tears over his blushing cheeks. When was the last time he had heard these three magical words, Zen wondered and tried to lessen the space between them even further. Jumin kissed the tears away and rubbed his cheeks against Zen's. „I love you," he repeated before engaging his and his lover's lips in blissful prayer.

The kiss, first soft and gentle, slowly developed into pure passion and ecstatic lust. Zen felt Jumin's tongue touch his own and couldn't get enough of it. It became harder and harder to breath for both of them. Jumin slowly lowered his hand constantly caressing Zen's body. He went down and down and further and further until he stopped at the point which marked the border between Zen's chest and lower body. Zen pushed himself towards Jumin thus trying to give him a sign that he wanted him to continue caressing even further downwards. Jumin chuckled quietly: „You sure are naughty, Hyun!" „Stop talking you jerk!", Zen moaned and grasped the hand of his lover forcing him to grab his already hard crotch before then grabbing Jumin's as well. He began moving his hand up and down first slowly and then steadily growing faster just the way he liked it whenever doing it to himself. However, it was really hard for Zen to not suddenly stop his movement because he felt so overwhelmed by Jumin pleasuring him the same way.

„Aaah, aaah, aah Jumin, aaah!" Zen couldn't hold his voice back which turned Jumin on even more even if his moans continued to be very quiet. „Aaah, haaa, haaa, ughn Jumin..." Zen breathed faster and heavier than before. He didn't know that such ecstatic feelings even existed. „Aaaaah!" Jumin began kissing Zen heavily swallowing his own and his lover's moans as well. He then stopped moving his hand and instead started caressing Zen's lips with his fingertips. It didn't take long for Zen to understand what Jumin wanted him to do. He took Jumin's fingers into his mouth and started licking them greedily. Zen blushed when he met Jumin's eyes who looked at him like an eagle focusing his prey. And in the end it was nothing else but exactly this: Zen had become Jumin's prey. And he wouldn't want it any other way.

Jumin crawled downwards bathing Zen's shining skin in kisses. First the chest, biting his nipples, running over and inside his belly button with his tongue and then caressing the firm inside of his thighs with even more kisses. Zen hissed and moaned in delight. Jumin teasing him like that was the most pleasurable form of torture Zen could even think of.

Jumin then continued teasing Zen in an even meaner way and began to use his tongue to play with the tip of Zen's hard member. Just a little bit. Then again. And again. And while Zen began sticking his hip towards Jumin's face Jumin stuck two of his still wet fingers into Zen's anus. Zen let a little scream slip out of his mouth. He first cramped a bit due to the unknown and strange feeling but then he leaned into the movement of Jumin's fingers inside of him. Jumin stopped playing with only the tip of Zen's penis and instead began swallowing the entire shaft. "Aaah... aaah...haaa... Ju... Jumin... I'm gonna...come..." Zen couldn't stop moaning in pleasure as it was as if he was reaching the climax any second. "You better don't, Hyun. I'm not even nearly done with you," Jumin answered demandingly while opening a condom with his still empty hand and his mouth. He put it on and kissed Zen passionately.

Zen shivered in both ecstasy and fear of what was to come next. Jumin kissed him again but this time very gently which helped Zen calm down and forget his fear. The next thing Zen felt was Jumin slowly entering him. Never had he felt something like this before. Pain and pleasure fighting each other and Zen couldn't even tell which of the two feelings was stronger or which he liked better. "Aaaahh...," now even Jumin couldn't hold his voice back. "Hyun... aaaah, haaa, ugh... aahh!" Jumin kept on thrusting into Zen over and over again, steadily getting faster and pushing harder with every thrust. Zen didn't only moan anymore but also screamed while enjoying this masochistic feeling at the same time. He buried his fingernails in Jumin's back. "Aaah!", both moaned at the same time.

Suddenly Jumin grabbed Zen and forced him into a tight embrace. He then leaned back until he was lying on the sheets causing Zen to land on top of him. Zen began riding Jumin heavily letting out a loud moan with every single thrust. Jumin pressed his head into the bed and moaned loudly underneath Zen's beautiful wet body covered in both his own and Jumin's sweat as well. "Aaaaahhh, aaaah, haaaaa, Jumin!" "Hyun... Hyun...haaa... aaah!" Jumin couldn't hold it any longer and thus decided to switch positions one last time. He made Zen stop riding him and then forced him to get down on all fours. He entered his lover from behind while simultaneously bringing him pleasure with a hand job. He moved back and forth, again and again, continuously banging the man in front of him.

Zen screamed and moaned as if he had lost all sense and control... like he was merely an animal now. Never had he thought that he would experience something like that with someone he had so many issues and problems with for so long. Never had he thought that he would fall so deeply for this man with these cold gray eyes. Never had he thought that he would feel so close to Jumin Han. "Aaaaahh, aaaah, haaaah, Jumin... I... I love you!"

Zen jumped up from his sleep with a scream. He breathed heavily. "What... what... what the fuck was that?" Zen was in sheer panic. He grabbed his chest and felt his heart racing as if it was soon going to stop due to a heart attack. He was shaking. His face was hot and sweat was running down his forehead. "What the hell? What sick dream was that?! A sex dream? A SEX DREAM BETWEEN ME AND JUMIN?", Zen wondered trying to not freak out entirely. "How could that even be possible? And how in the world... how... could this make him feel so strange after waking up? How?" Zen then realized the bulge in his shorts. "What the fuck!?", he screamed and jumped up.

He stared at the bulge and felt his face buring. "Ok... ok... breathe... calm down... calm down Hyun... that is nothing extraordinary... a simple morning boner... nothing unusual... this is normal... this is normal! Calm down!", he said to himself in the calmest voice he could think of at this moment. He took a deep breath and then tried to think of something stupid or disgusting or sad, whatever came to his mind to get rid of this boner. His granny? No... that would be to inappropriate... The fish shaped bread seller across his house? No... he would never be able to buy the fish shaped bread again... A cat! Yes! That was perfect! He hated cats. Zen started picturing cats but this only led to him picturing Elizabeth 3suprd/sup which in conclusion led to picturing Jumin. He saw Jumin's face in front of him in every detail which caused his boner to become even harder. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH what the fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk!" Zen panicked. What could he do? What could he do? He ran around his room and tried to think of something that could help him other than just jerking off.

"Sports! Yes, good idea!" He started doing squats. Didn't work. Jumping jacks. Didn't work. Push ups? Wouldn't work... would just hurt... Zen screamed again. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" He slapped his face and tried to calm down again but this didn't really work either. He then ran to the shower and let the cold water run down his still shaking body. And this actually helped. His member slowly turned softer and softer and his face started to feel normal again as well. However, Zen was afraid of what would happen when he left the shower again. His heart was still racing but not as fast as before. Zen let his forehead sink on the shower wall. He felt his cheeks blushing. "What kind of sick dream was that? Why am I dreaming something like that? Why?", he wondered again.

But then Zen realized something. In the past he had had psychic dreams once in a while. Dreams that actually became reality. He started shaking again. "No... this will not happen! This will not happen, Hyun! Never ever will I let this happen!", he told himself and really hoped with all his heart that he was right. He really hoped that this dream, may it be the most realistic and graphic dream he ever had, would never become reality.

Or didn't he?


	3. Chapter 3

It was not even 8:00 a.m. yet but Jumin felt as if he had been sitting behind his office desk for an entire day already. This feeling of exhaustion that pulled him down so badly was totally unfamiliar to him. Of course, there had been times when he had been tired or even entirely exhausted but he had never hit a level of exhaustion this high and complex before. So high and complex that he was not even sure himself if he could bear it or not and this feeling scared him. It had never been a problem for him to remain his cool and clear state of mind no matter the circumstances as his ability of always being professional and quick-minded was something he had always considered one of his biggest talents.

However, this time everything was so different. He wanted to surrender to this all-consuming urge to sleep so badly while at the same time he felt so restless that he did not even know how to close his eyes. He felt so empty and yet he was so full of emotions, thoughts, fears and desperation that emptiness began to transform into a synonym for hope. Just a little bit of hope to cling on to, which made Jumin want to burst out into ironic laughter because hope, the epitome of unpredictability and non-measurability, was something he just could not take seriously.

He had been awake for the entire night thinking about V whom he could not reach, Luciel and MC planning to head out to Mint Eye and possibly being in danger, Rika's true personality and the party they were supposed to hold and which they had worked on so hard. They could not just cancel it even given the questionable circumstances.

And then there was also Zen who had been on Jumin's mind almost every other minute now. Zen's face, something he had written in the messenger or his voice would just suddenly pop up in Jumin's head leaving him confused and full of questions. He did not know how to classify these thoughts or how he should name the feelings, they provoked in him. It was just ridiculous. That was the only possible description for it. „Ridiculous…" he said quietly and grabbed one of the documents he had to go through and which had already been sitting in a huge pile in front of him for the past hour staring at him as if they wanted to shame him.

Suddenly someone knocked on his door. He usually would not react very pleased about anyone disturbing him while he was working. Especially not this early in the morning and after him not having been able to sleep for an entire night. But this time he actually was happy about any form of disturbance because disturbance meant distraction. This was the only way to force his brain to forget about his troublesome thoughts even just for a minute. „Come in!" he said and adjusted his posture just to not come across as tired as he actually was. It was Jaehee, his chief assistant, carrying a tray with a coffee cup and a glass of water.

„Mr. Han", she said placing the tray on his table. „This is already your third double espresso..." Jumin grabbed the cup and emptied it in one single gulp. „So?" he answered sounding ever so harsh and annoyed. „I..." Jaehee started timidly which was very unlike her. She was a loyal assistant who knew how to behave as Jumin's employee. She knew when to talk and when not. How to handle things in Jumin's interest and how to act properly. However, she also knew that even if Jumin was her boss he respected her enough so that she would not have to be afraid of speaking up in front of him. They were close enough to know that they could trust each other no matter what. Moreover, she knew that she could be honest with him.

But Jaehee was not just a capable assistant to Jumin Han. She was also one of the persons who knew him best. Thus, Jaehee saw very well that her boss was in a terrible state even if almost anybody else would have probably said that he just looked like his usual self: A competent, handsome man in total control of himself.

„I know this should not concern me too much..." Jaehee continued. „...but given the circumstances of the current events... I am worried about you, Sir." This was not the form of distraction that Jumin had hoped for the moment he had heard Jaehee knock on his office door. He did not need another physical reminder of his worries. Without deigning to even look at her for a second Jumin grabbed a random piece of paper in front of him and pretended to continue working.

„Mr. Han...?" Jaehee asked. „Did I ask you to speak?" Jumin replied still looking at his document without even reading a single word. „I was just..." Jaehee could not finish her sentence as she was immediately interrupted by her boss: „You were just what? Wondering about my personal feelings?" Jumin stood up and moved to the window so that he would not have to face his assistant any longer. „Personal feelings are called personal for a reason. It is none of your business." Jaehee was of course used to being treated harshly by Jumin every now and then sometimes even quite often but this time she knew that she could not just let it go like she usually did by telling herself „This is just typical Mr. Han." Jaehee was certain that she needed to dig deeper now. He would never admit it but she was sure that Jumin needed some sort of comfort even if that meant facing the ugly thoughts and even if she would be the one who would have to suffer by serving as the outlet for his negative feelings.

„I beg your pardon Sir but this is very well part of my business as well." Jumin turned around now facing his assistant. „I am your assistant," Jaehee continued. „And not just that. I am also a member of the RFA. I am affected by all the troubles that haunt you right now because they haunt us all. You probably did not get proper sleep last night. So did I. So did Zen and Yoosung. And I don't even want to picture what MC and Luciel went and still go through. And seeing you in the state you are right now worries me because I care for your wellbeing. And being your assistant and your fellow RFA companion your state of mind definitely counts as my business as well."

For a very brief moment, Jumin was speechless. He tried to process what Jaehee had just said to him in this very distinctive strict but also caring tone of hers but he could not. He could not decide whether her words made him angry, or better angrier, or sad or actually happy and even proud of her. He just did not know what to say and this, for sure, made him feel very uncomfortable and that was something he could not take. "Is that so?" he said calmly but his voice sounded dark and cold.

Then there was silence as Jaehee did not know whether to repeat herself or not. "IS THAT SO I ASKED!" Jumin said again but this time much louder. He was on the edge of screaming, which was very unlike him and it thus made Jaehee wince in shock. "Yes, Mr. Han." she answered. "No! Jaehee! No, it is not! This is an international business environment and not your local telephone helpline. And that means your worries are totally out of place. Speaking of the RFA, I also believe you have more important work to do right now than holding pathetic speeches. So may I ask you to leave my office now and go back to work?" Jaehee was shocked and she could not believe her ears. Never did Jumin's words sound so mean to her. Never had his words hurt her this much. And without even answering Jaehee turned around and left Jumin's office.

Back at her desk, she was close to crying. Not that it was not already enough to deal with the worries about the RFA, now she also had to cope with Jumin's shitty behavior, which she did not deserve at all. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in while constantly telling herself inside her head that he did not mean it. She let her breath out. He did not mean it. This was not against her. Jumin was just angry and sad and worried due to all that was going on around him. She took another deep breath in. This was not against her, she told herself over and over again inside her mind. But breathing slowly was not really helping much and also her inner mantra was not as strong as she had hoped it to be. She grabbed her purse and started looking for her phone. When she found it, she connected her earphones to it and started one of Zen's songs. Hearing her idol's soothing voice helped immediately. She felt her heartbeat going back to normal and her skin losing the goose bumps it had previously won. She unlocked her computer and continued working as precisely and quickly as usual.

Jumin leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. In front of his inner eye he now saw his assistant's shocked face again. This last look on Jaehee's face with her eyes starting to tear up… he had no memory of her looking at him like this ever before. It was really unlike her to act like this. Or was it? Maybe it was not her who acted strangely but him? He leaned his arms on the table and buried his fingers in his raven hair. He wondered if he had been too harsh to Jaehee. She was right with everything she had said. He was tired and worried, and he was not his usual self and above all, he longed for someone to share this burden with. However, this was not something he could simply admit. He just could not expose his messed up feelings especially not in front of one of his employees, not even Jaehee. He had to be worthy of his well-known name. Worthy of his father. Worthy of the expectations everyone laid upon him. But how could he call himself worthy of all of this if his personal feelings made him shout at his assistant who just tried to help? "I am pathetic…", he said to himself knowing that this was the truest thing he had said the entire morning. He stood up and left his office.

Jaehee's office door was closed which was very unusual as she normally left the door open so that she could hear whenever Jumin was asking for her through the corridor. Like this, she also signalized that she was always easy to reach for Jumin and others who needed her assistance. Jumin knocked on the door. Once, no answer, twice, no answer. Then three times. Still no answer. He opened the door and saw Jaehee typing in a highly focused manner while listening to music on her phone. Jaehee, however, only realized that someone was in her office when Jumin already stood next to her and called her name: "Jaehee?" Jaehee winced as if Jumin had given her a heart attack. Her phone fell to the ground and one of her earphones now dangled in front of her chest while the other was still in her ear. The music, however, now filled the entire room. It was a slow and calm song sung by a deep male voice, which at the same time sounded ever so soft and strangely calming. Jumin bent down and picked up Jaehee's phone. "What are you listening to?" he asked while handing Jaehee her phone back. She grabbed it quaveringly. "Zen… Mr. Han. I… I am sorry… I just needed… I… I wanted…. I will put it away immediately." She was in the middle of wrapping the headphones around her phone and putting it back in her purse as Jumin shook his head. "No, no it's fine. If it helps you concentrate, please go ahead. Thank you for your hard work." He turned away and moved towards the office door. Jaehee could not help but smile a little. "Mr. Han, was there anything you wanted?" Jumin stopped and faced his assistant. "No… never mind. The matter has resolved itself." "Very well, Sir, if there is anything else, just call me." "I know… thank you." He opened the door and stepped out but then stepped back in again immediately "One thing!" he said quickly. "Yes, Mr. Han?" "What is the song called you were just listening to?" "Still love." "Thank you." Jumin left the room and closed the door behind him. Jaehee should have her personal space now.

He went back into his office, took his phone out and opened the YouTube app. He typed in "Still love – Zen" and clicked on the first video that appeared. He put his earphones in and crossed his arms on the table. And with his head resting on his pillow like arms he listened to Zen's voice echoing through his head and without really knowing why he started to feel at ease for the first time that day.


	4. Chapter 4

Zen could not remember the last time he had been so happy about having company. He had never been the type of person who needed comfort by others to feel save and something one would probably call the opposite of "lonely". However, this time was different and he was very grateful that Yoosung was with him right now even if he knew that he was probably more of a comforting anchor to Yoosung than Yoosung was to him. But it was good. It was so good that he was not alone right now. It had only been a few hours ago since V had made his strange and shocking confession through the messenger. Since V had made his apologies for all his secrets not realizing that these very apologies just sounded like the biggest secret of all.

 _"I will no longer be the leader of the RFA."_

" _Then, don't hesitate and just hate me."_

" _Bye forever."_

Bye forever? What the heck? What were they supposed to do with these statements now? What did he think would happen by saying these things and then just disappearing into nothingness? Without a trace, a chance to contact him, anything! How pathetic was that? How cowardly was that? Did he really believe that this would have been enough?

Zen was overwhelmed with all these questions and his anger and frustration about the situation. He had never been really close to V or Rika, even if he owed V his life, but it still bothered him so deeply. The RFA had become so important to Zen. It was like family and he loved it to the bottom of his heart. And so it hurt seeing V react the way he did.

Zen took a sip from the beer he held in his right hand. It had already been his fourth can that evening. Yoosung hadsurrenderedafter the second can. He had fallen asleep on Zen's lap while complaining about how angry he was at V and how little he could understand his behavior. He had also whined about wanting Rika back and had started crying at some point until his body could not handle the tears and swearing anymore. Zen emptied his beer and placed the empty can next to him. He looked at Yoosung and could not help but sigh at the sight of the swollen eyes of his young friend. Under normal circumstance Zen would have definitely found it weird or even uncomfortable yet maybe disgusting letting another guy sleep with his head on his lap, but right now it was everything else but weird, uncomfortable or disgusting. It was actually nice and strangely comforting.

He began petting Yoosung's blond hair, which was surprisingly soft considering all the styling products he used to keep it in shape. "Poor Yoosung…" Zen whispered so as not to wake him up. If this whole mess was already so troublesome for Zen himself, how must it have been for Yoosung who was much closer to V and Rika? How much pain would he have to endure now? How much sorrow and sadness…. Zen could only imagine a fraction of what was going on in Yoosung's mind right now. And while Zen tried to concentrate on the soothing feeling of Yoosung's hair in his hands to distract himself from all the troublesome thoughts in his head he remembered the greeting speech for the party Jaehee had sent him before. He had already gone through it several times and memorized the content but it was probably best to go through it again. There was nothing else to do anyway and focusing on something practical like practicing lines was far better than just letting his burdening thoughts take over his mind.

He started reading the speech again and for a short time it really helped him get distracted. But while the speech made Zen forget about V and Rika and his worries for MC and Saeyoung, it made him instead think about Jumin. Zen put the speech aside again and unlocked his phone. He started to go through the messenger's chat conversations for the day. Except for that stupid part about the average length of a cat hair (Zen could not believe they had actually talked about such a thing in the messenger) and the comment about Zen being so superficial that taking a couple of selfies would surely make him feel better, nearly everything else Jumin had said in the chat room, had put Zen to shame and made him feel like the most pathetic person of all time.

Jumin was a rock. Zen did not know how else to put it. He was a rock who could always remain his cool and he was protecting all of them. And what did he do? What was it exactly that Zen did for the sake of the group? He had just been worried and did not offer any significant solutions for anything that day. He had just studied some short speech, which he had not even written himself. And that was it. And the most pathetic thing of all was that he had actually mocked Jumin for being cold and not thinking enough of the wellbeing of the RFA members. "Pathetic…", he said to himself.

It is probably right what people say: To really get to know someone you have to experience them at their worst. That was something Zen now knew. Accusing Jumin for not being able to really have emotions was simply stupid and unfair to him. Zen went through the chat conversation they all had had in the messenger before Yoosung had knocked on his door. Never had anyone seen Jumin react the way he did then. Never had they all been so worried about him. Never had it been so clear that Mr. Cool, Mr. Rock, Mr. Jumin fricking Han could get hurt emotionally. Never had Zen felt sorry for the man he himself referred to as "cat mom" or "trust-fund-kid." And never had he wished to hear from him more than now.

"Did you hear anything from Jumin?" he typed in his phone and sent the message to Jaehee.

"No… he does not pick up his phone…." she answered right away.

"Damn… he must be really hurt… damn really V, what the hell…"

"I know…"

"Can you keep me posted on Jumin?"

"Sure, I will probably not be able to sleep anyway."

"Me neither… hang in there, Jaehee."

"Thank you! You too!"

Zen stared at his phone for a while and wondered about whether or not it was a good idea to try contacting Jumin himself. He had just waited for Jumin to come online again or asked Jaehee about him up to now. They did not get along very well so why should Jumin even want to hear from him? He was probably the person Jumin wanted to hear from the least at this moment. So why even bother if it was pointless to begin with? Zen grabbed the speech one more time and started reading only to put it down again after the first sentence. He started typing into his phone.

"Jumin? Are you ok?"

"Jumin? Are yo"

"Jumin?"

"Ju"

" "

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Zen thought, which is why he had deleted the first draft of his attempt to contact Jumin immediately. What could he actually write him now without sounding pathetic? What could he say to comfort him? Zen grabbed his hair and started tearing it. "Damn V! Why are you such a coward?!" Zen exclaimed and ended his sentence with a long sigh. He re-opened the messenger app. "Just don't overthink this now, Zen!" he told himself and started typing again.

"If you wanna talk, I'll listen. Anytime."

Zen hit the send button and put the phone aside. He was sure that Jumin would never respond to this but then he heard his phone beep, indicating the incoming of a new message. Zen nervously checked his phone. It was a message by Jaehee. "Well what did I even expect?" Zen thought to himself and read the message.

"Nothing from Mr. Han so far. However, I asked his driver to go check on him just in case."

"Ok, thanks for letting me know. You should try to sleep. Get some rest."

"I will try. See you tomorrow."

Zen felt the urge to move. Just sitting around waiting for something almost impossible to happen was simply not bearable. Especially not for an active person like he was. He wanted to stretch, walk and maybe even jump a bit. However, Yoosung was still fast asleep with his head resting on Zen's lap. "Let's hope he does not wake up!" Zen whispered to himself and lifted Yoosung up. The blond young student grunted a bit but there was nothing that could have been able to wake him up. Zen carried Yoosung into his bedroom and layed him on the bed before tucking him carefully into the blanket. "See you tomorrow, buddy." Zen said quietly and left the room again.

Back in the living room Zen began stretching. First the arms. Left arm. Right arm. BEEP. Zen cringed. BEEP. Forget about stretching! It was time for jumping! Zen jumped over the backrest of the couch and immediately grabbed his phone which was lying on the coffee table.

Two new messages. From Jumin.

Zen couldn't believe his eyes. He began to tremble. "Ok Zen, prepare for the worst!" he thought to himself and opend the message. Zen could only make himself squint at the message as he was too aprehensive of Jumin making fun of him again.

"You sure are special."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

This had not been what Zen had expected. Not in the slightest. He felt his heartbeat speeding up. He hesitated a bit but then he summoned up all his courage and wrote his answer. Still trembling.

"I really meant it. The talking, I mean. Just so you know."

Zen hit the send button and waited. The waiting lasted for about 15 seconds.

"I meant it too."

Zen had to hold his breath. "I meant it too?" What did he mean by that? That he would see him tomorrow? Or that... he was special? Zen didn't know what to respond or even what to think of Jumin's statement.

„Goodnight, Zen."

"Yeah... see you tomorrow. Good night, Jumin." And with that Jumin's status changed from logged in to looged out.

"You sure are special."

Zen was completely confused. It was as if someone had showed him evidence that the earth was indeed flat. He could neither make sense of Jumin's words nor of the feelings that these words provoked in him. The only thing he knew for sure was that with this sentence resonating in his head he would definitely not be able to get a single second of sleep. Even if his body wanted to.


	5. Chapter 5

It had already been a long day. They had opened the party at noon but of course they had been at the venue from around 8:00 a.m. onwards to supervize the final set-ups and organisational parts of their charity event. And even if they were heading closer and closer to midnight already, there had still been a lot of guests to take care of. MC had really proven to be a worthy member of the RFA and on top of that she had turned out to be one hell of a guest coordinator. So many people had showed up because of her hard work and it was simply amazing that she had rocked her new position even given the fact that she was a complete newbie to the organisation, did not have a proper introduction into the history and structure of the RFA, nor a traineeship in event coordination and only around seven days of time for perparing the guest coordination. MC had been a jackpot and this showed ever so clearly whenever the guests talked about the lovely correspondence they had with her and that it had been a shame that she was not able to attend herself. And Zen, Jaehee, Yoosung and Jumin could not agree more. It was indeed a shame that MC and Saeyoung were not there with them. But on top of that it was unsettling. They all had constantly been worried about their two friends. Throughout the entire party none of them had switched their phones to silent mode. And none of them was able to not check said phones every other minute.

„I hope they are ok...", Zen thought to himself while putting on his best attention-face for one of the guests who went on and on about the fabric he was going to use for the main piece of his upcoming winter fashion collection. Zen's acting skills sure came in handy in this situation as he had put a lot of effort and work into keeping the guests entertained and happy throughout the day, as he had in a way become MC's surrogate by holding the opening speech. Zen felt responsible for the guests and so he had basically talked to each and everyone at least three times that day, just to make them feel appreciated and welcome. On top of his acting skills he could of course also rely on his good looks and natural charm in this regard. Especially with the ladies. However, Zen had difficulties to really focus on the conversations he had with the party guests, which was not really surprising as he was extremely exhausted due to a lack of sleep, his heavy thoughts about MC's and Saeyoung's whereabouts, his frustration over V's behaviour and moreover his constant worries about Jumin. The guests might not have been able to see it, but Jumin had not been his usual self the entire day. He still behaved like the confident and charming businessman that he was and managed to use his words so wisely that he twisted the guests he talked to around his little finger like it was the easiest thing to do. But if you knew him well enough you could tell that he had difficulties pulling himself together, a condition Jumin desperately had tried to drown in more and more wine.

Zen had observed Jumin for almost the entire day and with every glass of wine Jumin had emptied throughout the afternoon Zen had become more and more concerned. Jumin had drunk so much that Zen had already stopped counting the glasses. Had it been ten? Twelve? Or even 15? He couldn't tell. „How could Jumin still form somewhat comprehensible sentences let alone stand straight?", Zen wondered to himself which made him both impressed and alarmed at the same time. Zen himself had decided not to drink anything alocoholic during the party as he wanted to stay sober for being able to help close the party and clean up afterwards. But being sober was not really helpful with regard to how Jumin behaved. In fact, Zen's only relief had been Jaehee who of course did not fail to notice Jumin's condition and had thus started monitoring her boss as good as she could after he had finished his fifth glass of wine. Jaehee discreetly had tried to keep Jumin from drinking more and asked him to try to shuffle of his sorrrows at least for today as they and especially MC had all worked so hard for the party. She even told him that his reasonable and cool way of behaving was essential to the successful outcome of their charity event, which is why the RFA needed him to pull himself together. However, Jumin had never been know for being a person who lets other people tell him what to do especially not his secretary. Thus, the later it got and the more wine Jumin had, the harder and harder it became for Jaehee to keep Jumin in check.

It was true. Jumin had still been able to form comprehensible sentences but it had been the most basic sentences known to the human language and the fact that he was still standing straight was on the one hand impressive but on the other it was just a sign that he simply wasn't able to walk properly anymore and thus had decided to just not move at all. He was on the edge of his phyiscal abilities to pass as a sober person. Therefore Jaehee had decided to not leave her boss's side anymore as she was too nervous that he would do something that could seriously damage his and the RFA's image.

But then it happened. One of the guests Jaehee and Jumin had been talking to asked them about the photographer whose pictures had been put up for auction at the last party organized by the RFA. This was when something in Jumin's brain snapped and he bursted out into loud and uncontrollable laughter. And while the guest who had asked the question couldn't stop staring at Jumin with severe confusion Jumin had also managed to caught the attention of every single person that still had been in the room. Jaehee was speechless and for the first time that day even she did not know what to do. She quickly glanced at Yoosung and Zen which made both of them come to the rescue. Zen quickly moved onto the stage and Yoosung advised the lighting crew to dim the light in the room and put a spotlight on Zen. No sooner said then done!

„Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please!" And it worked. Even if Jumin was still laughing the guests now had their eyes on Zen only. Jaehee and Yoosung took this chance to lead Jumin out of the hall and into one of the staff rooms next to it. They could still hear Zen talking to the guests: „It had been an amazing event so far and we would like to thank you again for your attendance. It is your effort and your generosity that we celebrated here today. We cannot thank you enough! However, as they say, at some point all good things come to an end. And so does this event as well. Our donation booths will close in twenty minutes. We hope you enjoyed your time with us. Thank you so much for coming and have a safe trip home!" Everyone clappped and cheered for Zen and only half an hour later Jaehee and Zen had begun seeing off the guests at the entrance of the venue.

Yoosung meanwhile had been the one taking care of Jumin who had finally calmed down by sipping on yet another glass of wine which Yoosung had not be able to deny the C&R company heir. Jaehee was so close to lose her temper when she and Zen came back to the staff room and saw Jumin drinking again. You could tell by the look on her face that she desperately wanted to scream at Jumin but in the end he still was her boss and she knew that she could risk her position by scolding him. Yoosung felt guilty for not having been able to keep Jumin from drinking even more.

„Jaehee... I... I am sorry, I just wasn't...", Yoosung started but Jaehee interupted him.

„No, don't worry. This is not your fault. You did your best. I know that. However, we need to get him home now otherwise it will probably get worse."

„You know I can heaaaar you, Assis... Assistant Kang!", Jumin said his voice sluring, which was a sound neither Yoosung nor Zen had ever expected to hear from Jumin. Like never. Jaehee acted as if she didn't hear Jumin and continued.

„Unfortunately his driver had to go back home already. Family issues. It was really short notice so I did not manage to organize a replacement. I would rather not put him in a taxi. He will need someone to help him once he is home. Not just help I guess... supervision as well. To keep him from drinking more and so forth."

While Zen listened to Jaehee he started feeling very sorry for her. He knew that she would suggest going with Jumin herself as she was a really responsible person and when it came to Jumin she was also the most loyal and perfect employee as well. But looking at Jumin and how he behaved right now Zen could not just let Jaehee take care of him herself. Jumin probably would be a big asshole towards her if she were to go with him and Zen did not want anything like that for her. The same went for Yoosung who was to young and to little of a match to Jumin to really be able to stand an emotional chance against him.

„I'll go.", Zen interrupted Jaehee which led both Jaehee and Yoosung look at him slack-jawed.

„Don't worry. I'll go. Plus I didn't have any drinks so I can also drive him in his own car. Just tell me where to go." Jaehee was speechless as she could not believe that Zen, who was well known for not really getting along with Jumin, suggested to go take care of him now. However, she was also happy and relieved that she would not have to go instead, as she knew that this would probably not have ended well for her. She explained to Zen how to get to Jumin's apartment, where to park and how to open the highly secured door. On top of that she gave him some allergy medicine that she always carried around in case someone would react to the insignificantly little amount of cat hair Jumin carried around on his clothes. Jaehee assured Zen though that being in Jumin's apartment would probably not be a problem allergy-wise as Jumin's housekeeper really did a good job at keeping everything almost clinically clean.

When everything was set and they had finally managed to put Jumin on the backseat of his car, Jaehee took Zen to the side one last time.

„Jaehee, don't worry. Everything is gonna be ok We're talking about Jumin here. I will...", and without even being able to finish his sentence Jaehee suddendly hugged Zen tightly. Zen, even though surprised, returned the hug when he heard Jaehee quietly say „Thank you". Zen could not help but smile softly at Jaehee's reaction. Moreover it was this exact reaction that also helped Zen calm down again for although he had told Jaehee that everything was going to be ok, he himself had not been entirely sure about this.


	6. Chapter 6

Zen had decided to drive as carefully as possible. He just couldn't picture Mr. Fancy Trust Fund Kid Jumin Han throw up in the car because of excessive drinking. But Zen would rather not risk anything like that even if it was a shame to not use a car like Jumin's to its full potential.

It was a long ride and every now and then Zen observed Jumin through the rearview mirror. Jumin now had his eyes closed and his head leaned on the window next to him. Just a few moments before, Jumin had constantly typed something into his phone while swearing quietly, almost as if he was talking just to himself. He had been writing messages to V, that was how much Zen had figured out. But of course, V did not answer. On the one hand Zen was relieved that Jumin basically ignored him and was just concerned with himself and V, but on the other hand Zen was upset with V for leaving his friend high and dry. And thus, he really wished for Jumin to let go of all the issues with V by focusing on something else instead.

Jumin unlocked his phone again and began writing another message to V.

„It's not worth it, Jumin. Just let it go for now," Zen said trying to catch Jumin's eye in the rearview mirror.

„Shut uuuup!" Jumin answered and continued typing into his phone. He typed and typed and typed. It was a really a surreal sight. Jumin was a mess both physically and mentally. His eyes looked wild, even given the fact that they were surrounded by dark circles. He had taken off his suit jacket and even the tie. His vest as well as the first two buttons of his shirt were unbottened and his hair was tousled which made it almost look like the failed attempt of a bird trying to build a nest. This appearance eerily added up to the strange way in which he punched his messages into the phone while maniacally mumbling swear words and incomprehensible nonsense. Jumin was like a completely different person. On the one hand it scared Zento see Jumin act so differently, so totally out of character, but on the other, he was also very amazed and almost even excited about it. Witnessing this side of Jumin even made Zen feel strangely special.

„Fuck it!" Jumin screamed all of a sudden and put his phone to his ear. Zen was flabbergasted to hear Jumin say the F-word but nevertheless tried to react to it somehow. „Jumin, there is nopoint in calling V." Yet, Zen was not surprised that his words did not stop Jumin from calling V anyway.

„V! No! Jihyun Kim! Pick up your fucking phone! Pick it up or else I'm gonna crash your stupid voicemail!" Jumin shouted into his phone at the top of his lungs. Zen began to feel scared. Jumin's voice was so harsh and cold, almost as if he had forgotten that he wasn't a beast but actually a human being. Jumin had continued shouting into his phone for another two minutes and then he paused. A pause that felt like eternity compared to the apoplectic shouting from before.

„I... I thought we were friends...," Jumin said quietly into his phone and there was not a trace of conviction or defiance in his whispered words. They were just full of sadness.

Jumin hung up and put his phone aside. „Jumin...," Zen started as amatter of trying to provide some comfort for Jumin but as he didn't know what else to say he stopped his sentence before it really had started.

They both had been quiet for a while when suddendly Jumin broke the silence: „Pull... over...," he said in a very commanding voice

„What?" Zen asked confused as he did not understand why Jumin wanted him to stop driving all of a sudden, especially given the fact that they had almost reached Jumin's apartment.

„Pull over...," Jumin said louder and at that moment Zen realized why he needed to stop. „Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! Please don't throw up in the car. Please, please, please!" he thought to himself and quickly pulled over at the next possible spot. Luckily it was a very empty outside town street they were on right now. He jumped out of the car, opened Jumin's door and tried helping him out, but Jumin only pushed him away and hurried to the edge of the road. And then it happened: Drunk Jumin Han threw up. For a moment Zen couldn't believe his eyes. He had never even imagined that Jumin's body was able to do something like throwing up. It just did not fit the picture he and probably everyone else had of the C&R company heir. This was definitely Jumin at his worst. There was no doubt about it.

However, Zen was not sure how to handle this situation now. Should he help Jumin? Or better: Did Jumin want help? Should he just wait on the side? Should he comfort him somehow? And if so... how? What did Jumin expect Zen to do? Did he expect anything at all? Would helping Jumin be appropriate or just weird? What would Jaehee do? What would V do...? Zen was confused which only strengthened the panic. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He wanted to help Jumin somehow as this was what he would have wanted if he were in Jumin's place. However, he just didn't know how. He had helped some of his former girlfriends or female colleagues when they had to throw up. That had been easy. He had just held their hair back and tenderly stroked or even massaged their backs which helped them release the tension of their bodies. Jumin's hair was too short to be needed to be held back. So what remained was stroking his back? Zen hesitated. Was it really a good idea to touch Jumin as a way of comforting him? Wouldn't he cross a line here? He looked at Jumin who was still gagging heavily and the moment his body convulsed again Zen decided that there was no point in overthinking this situation now. He placed his hand on Jumin's back and began stroking it gently. Zen had not expected it to work but only a few seconds later Jumin relaxed his body. Zen was glad that it seemed to work somehow and even if it felt awkward he continued stroking his back. „I can't believe this is happening right now...," Zen thought to himself.

A few moments later Jumin was done throwing up and asked for water. Luckily driver Kim had the car well equipped for every emergency one could possibly think of. Zen had found several bottles of water, gum and even a towel. He poured some water over Jumin's hands to help him clean them and then passed him the towel and the already open bottle of water. Jumin washed his mouth several times and cleaned his face. Zen was surprised about how thoroughly Jumin managed to turn himself into an almost decent looking person thinking about how drunk he still was. When Jumin finished washing up Zen passed him another bottle of water and made him drink it up before they both got back into the car.

The rest of the ride went smoothly. Jumin was quiet and didn't even check his phone one single time. Furthermore, and much to Zen's relief, Jumin did not have to throw up again. They arrived at Jumin's apartment around 15 minutes later. Zen parked where Jaehee had told him to and stopped the engine. He sighed. Except for Jumin throwing up, driving him home had been a really easy task. However, helping him into his apartment, making him change and go to bed was a different story. Zen felt nervous and also very uneasy. However, there was no getting around it. Zen took a deep breath in, got out off the car and opened the door for Jumin. This time Zen did not offer Jumin a hand as he was sure the he would refuse it again anyway. Jumin was very doddery when he got off the car and Zen began to feel thankful that Jumin's parking spot was right next to the elevator that would lead them directly to the entrance of Jumin's apartment. Zen picked up all of Jumin's things from the car, locked it quickly and then followed Jumin who had already began walking towards the elevator. It was relieving to see that Jumin could somehow walk without help even if his legs seemed very wobbly. And the exact moment that Zen began believing that they were really going to be ok like he had told Jaehee earlier, Jumin tripped over his own legs. Zen rushed towards Jumin and without even thinking about it grabbed him with one arm around his waist and so prevented him from falling. „Careful!" Zen said and held Jumin tight to his chest. Only a couple of seconds passed before Jumin pushed Zen away using all of his strength. „DON'T TOUCH ME!", Jumin shouted at Zen which left the white haired man aghast. „I... was just...," he started responding but Jumin did not let him finish. „I CAN WALK BY MYSELF!" Jumin turned around on his heel and called the elevator. „Well, clearly you cannot...!" Zen mumbled so that only he could hear it. He began to feel a massive amount of anger towards the black haired man who was now standing in front of him waiting for the elevater to arrive. Only a few moments ago Zen had really felt sorry for Jumin. It had actually been sad seeing him so upset about V and Zen really wanted to help him not just for Jaehee's sake. But maybe Jumin was just a douchebag after all. The doors of the elevator opened and for a quick moment Zen thought about pushing Jumin into the elevator and letting him ride it alone while he himself would hop back into the car to drive home. But then Jaehee came to Zen's mind again which made him swallow his anger and join Jumin further on.

They arrived at the entrance door of Jumin's apartment a few moments later and as if it was not enough that drunk Jumin was very difficult to handle a new obstacle came up: the door. It was a highly secured entrance door and even if Jaehee had explained Zen precisely how to open it, Zen could not remember a thing about it. He took the key and the keycard Jaehee had given him and began trying to open the door. He tried the keycard first. Then the keys. Then both in all combinations possible. But it didn't work. Zen got nervous as it felt like they had already been standing in front of the locked door for ages. Apparently, it had felt like this for Jumin too, as he suddendly pushed Zen to the side, prying both keys and keycard out of Zen's hands and opening the door in no time. „See? Not that difficult! Or are you stupid or what?" Jumin coldly hissed in Zen's direction and entered the apartment still weak-kneed.

Zen couldn't believe his ears. Jumin had called him stupid even if he had been the one helping him get back home safe? There really was no doubt that Jumin was just an asshole as there was no reason to be so mean to Zen even considering that he was sad and above all dead drunk. This was just no excuse. Zen was furious. He wanted to respond to Jumin really badly but the moment he wanted to shout out the words he had come up with as a response his phone rang. It was Jaehee.

„Zen, everything alright? I just wanted to check if you arrived safely."

„Yeah, don't worry Jaehee, I got this. We just arrived and are now in the apartment."

„Ok... thank God. How is he doing?"

„He is... ok... just, well, you know him."

„I understand. If he is nasty to you, please don't take it personally. He really is deeply hurt and expecting sense and correct behaviour from a drunk person is also not the best idea. You know that, right?"

„Yeah... I know..."

„Thank you, Zen. I really mean it. Thank you so much for helping."

These words helped Zen calm down again. Jaehee was right. Jumin was not in a position to be really taken seriously and so Zen should not let his words and actions affect him so deeply.

„It was nothing, Jaehee. Really. Don't worry and go to bed. We will talk tomorrow."

„Ok. Good night, Zen."

„Good night." Zen hung up and looked at Jumin who was now crouching down to pet his cat Elizabeth III. The white cat purred contentedly and rubbed her body against Jumin's legs.

„Yeah, princess, you missed me, right? I missed you too. Sooo much." Jumin lifted his cat up and continued petting her while holding her in his arms. „You are the only one who cares about me, right? Unlike V or that guy over there who just brought me here because Assistant Kang told him so." Zen rolled his eyes at Jumin talking about him as if he wasn't even in the same room. „You know I am right here, Jumin. It is not as if I couldn't hear you."

„I don't care...," Jumin replied and turned his back towards Zen. „I don't care... why should I even care? There is no point in caring." Jumin paused for a moment and Zen began feeling very uncomfortable again as he didn't know how he could possibly respond to that.

„Everyone I cared about clearly didn't care about me in return," Jumin continued very quietly but with every word that followed then, his voice got louder and louder „My mother left me. My father cares more about his relationships than me. Rika..., now V... it is only a matter of time and then Jaehee will leave too and you... YOU'VE NEVER CARED ABOUT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE." Jumin, now facing Zen again, had shouted these last words which caused Elizabeth to jump out of his arms and run away terrified by her owner's wrathful sounding voice.

Zen felt the anger boiling up inside of him again: „Jumin are you even listening to your own words? I don't know about your parents but everything you said about your friends was plain and simple bullshit! Rika died, you douchebag! She didn't leave because she didn't care about you. She died! Yeah, true, V is an asshole too, but he probably has good reasons for his behaviour right now even if I have no idea what sort of reasons that would be. Anyway, you are not and never have been the center of their world, so stop telling yourself that they left because of you! You are not that important even if that is what you want to believe! And as for Jaehee: She cares so much about you that she would rather get yelled at you for an entire night than leave you alone in this miserable state you are in right now. She has a heart of gold and would do anything to protect us all and that includes you of course. And I? You are really saying that I don't care about you? I offered to talk to you last night as I was sincerely worried about you. You called me special for that, remember? I fucking drove you here for over an hour and even helped you when you had to throw up during the ride. I bear with your douchy behaviour towards me and still stick around so that you are not alone. And you really have the nerve to tell me that I don't care about you? Really?" Zen was out of breath when he finished his speech. He glared at Jumin who was not at loss for an answer.

„YOU JUST CARE ABOUT ME BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE TOLD YOU TO DO SO! HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN NOT CARING AT ALL? IS THERE ACTUALLY ANYONE YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT? OR ARE YOU ONLY ABLE TO CARE ABOUT YOUR NARCISSISTIC SELF?"

That was it. Zen was now done with Jumin. All mental incapacity due to excessive alcohol consumption aside, Zen was not able to not take Jumin's words personally anymore.

„WELL MAYBE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE AN OBNOXIOUS AND UNLIKEABLE DOUCHEBAG WHO TREATS PEOPLE LIKE SHIT! DID THAT EVER CROSS YOUR MIND?"

Jumin stared at Zen. He seemed speechless and Zen was not even surprised about that as his words had made himself speechless as well. Had he really just said that to Jumin and... was he imagining it or did Jumin's eyes look watery all of a sudden?

Jumin began to shake but nevertheless tried to form an answer: „You...have no i...de...," and without even finishing the sentence Jumin fainted. Zen managed to catch Jumin at the last second but lost his balance by doing so. Luckily he had been able to slow down the fall which made him land on the floor safely while Jumin mostly landed on Zen's lap. It took Zen a few seconds to recover from the shock but then he quickly checked on Jumin. He was still breathing. His pulse was normal. He had just been so tired and stressed that his body had responded with an emergency shut-down.

Zen let out a deep breath of both relief and despair. What should he do now? Should he try waking Jumin up? He looked at Jumin's face and wondered how to handle everything now when he noticed something. He had not mistaken before. It really had been tears that had welled up in Jumin's eyes.


End file.
